Showing love and building your child’s self-esteem early in life is the foundation of long-term success. Your child can be a genius, but if they don’t have the confidence in themselves to realize this, it can hinder them from excelling in school, getting new jobs or trying new things. Of course, we don’t want to simply shower our kids in compliments, especially if it’s not earned. A good approach is to not only compliment your child’s successes, but to compliment his efforts along the way. This will help build both his confidence and determination.
1) Be real in your compliments – don’t go over the top with comments like, “You are the best child in the whole world” or “no one is cuter than you are!” Make sure your praise is specific to a situation and credible.
2) Compliment following directions – give your child praise when he listens to your requests. Don’t fall into the trap of reprimanding for disobedience, instead tell him how happy you are that he followed your directions.
3) Compliment efforts rather than results – tell your child what a great job he did passing the ball to other players during the soccer game, instead of focusing on the end score. Or, how impressive his focus and determination was in writing a paper, rather than just praising the final grade.
4) Praise examples of good character – offer a compliment when he has been honest about something he knows he shouldn’t have done, or when he has been kind to his sister, or when he has been responsible and chosen to finish homework rather than play Xbox.
5) Praise your child, in front of your child – this is not to brag, but to reinforce good behavior. Talk positively about your child to other’s in the family like grandparents, Aunts and Uncles. This will encourage him to continue on this path.
6) Compliment choices they make – tell him that you are impressed with his choice of friends, his choice in clothing, or his choice in the book he’s reading.
Rewarding your children with love and praise gives them a strong sense of self-worth and confidence. As long as the praise is given appropriately, it reinforces specific good behavior and the child is left feeling the warmth of parental approval.
Parents in search of more advice and skills for raising healthy, well-balanced children should take online parenting classes designed by a qualified, licensed family therapist. They are available at the touch of a button on any web-based computer. They’re great because you can log-in and out whenever you have the time, nothing needs to be printed out, and you can learn a wealth of parenting information. Courses include information on how to handle the different stages of childhood, from infancy on. Topics include enhancing your child’s development, creating and maintaining a strong communicative relationship through the teen years and how to manage stress. Classes are inexpensive and are a great tool to enhance parenting skills if you are a first-time parent, or are deeply years into raising a large family.