Getting Your Child To Listen!

During the summer months, most households take a break from the daily school year rigor.  The days are longer, so everyone tends to go to bed later and camps often don’t begin until 9 a.m., so it means the kids can sleep in a bit.  Often, what is considered a special privilege for after homework, like watching television and playing video games, become daily activities.  It’s good for kids to have some downtime to relax and enjoy some freedom, but with this lack of structure, some families find a breakdown in their children’s normal behavior.  A basically well-behaved, attentive child might lose a bit of his social skills during this time of the year.  If you find this happening in your home, here are some tips to get your children back on track and listening to you once again.

1. Make eye contact

When you are ready for your child to turn off the television and get dressed for camp, don’t just scream out directions.  Instead, walk over to your child, squat to your child’s eye-level and make direct eye contact to get her attention. 

2.  Use simple language

Direct your request by starting it with the child’s name.  Then proceed with a simple, short and direct sentence.  “Rebecca, will you please put your shorts and t-shirt on.”  Explain to her why it must be done.  “We have to leave for camp in 10 minutes.”  This gives the child an understanding of the purpose of your request and makes it difficult to ignore.

3.  Keep The Directive Short

You may want the child to do a long list of things before leaving the house, but try to resist issuing these instructions all at once.  The child will start to tune you out after a few sentences.  Start with one directive and when the child has accomplished it, move on to the next item.  “Now that you have gotten dressed, please brush your teeth and hair.  Then we can get in the car to get there on time.”

4.  Have request repeated back

After you make the request while continuing to look your child in the eyes, ask her to repeat it back.  This will ensure that she is paying attention and respecting your authority. 

5.  Be positive

Give your child positive feedback when they listen and successfully accomplish the task.  This will encourage them to continue to pay attention. 

6.  Use rewards if necessary

If your child starts to balk at the request, use a reward system.  This can be a sticker chart for an end goal, or something that provides immediate gratification. “When you get yourself ready for camp, then you can watch a little more television.”  “If you get ready quickly, you will have time to watch a little more television.” 

You will find that making direct contact with your child prior to making a request, works well with toddlers to teenagers.  If you have a hard time getting your teenagers to come downstairs for dinner when you call out “it’s dinner time come downstairs”, then walk up to her room and engage with the child for a few moments about what they are currently doing.  Then ask them to come downstairs for dinner.  This will show them that you are interested in their world, but are serious about wanting them to come for dinner.  

For further parenting skills and techniques, it’s never too late to a parenting class online.  High quality programs that are designed and run by licensed therapists will include the most current information on successful parenting.  They are low-cost and easy to access from the convenience of your own home 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Give yourself the information you need to run a low stress home!