The holiday season is upon us and it’s a time when we’re all creating our “wish lists”, especially our kids. Whether you have preschoolers or teenagers, it’s a good time to teach gratitude. The holiday season is the perfect opportunity to reflect on how it’s not only fun to receive gifts, but to do so with a sense of appreciation. This season is about giving, and teaching children from a young age a greater awareness of the world around them and the importance of giving to others will stay with them their entire lives. Think back to your own experiences. I know that when questioned, our teenager can’t remember what presents she received 3 years ago, but she does feel a sense of contentment that she helped out that year collecting and distributing brand new pajamas to a local underprivileged community.
Modeling empathy and showing gratitude in your daily actions is the best way to teach this attitude to your kids. Of course this should be done all year long, but focusing on it during the holidays helps to reinforce the real meaning of the holiday. To start with, be a good role model by treating your family with kindness by saying “please” and “thank you” when they are considerate and helpful. Carry this over to the service industry employees you deal with everyday at the supermarket, Costco, the dry cleaners or movie theater. Watching this behavior will get your kids in this habit as well.
Have age appropriate conversations with your children about what is happening in the world. Ask them what it would feel like if they were often cold and hungry or disabled and went without receiving any gifts during the holidays. Take them to volunteer even just one day to help them understand how others live and show them how good it feels to help those in need.
If you have had some embarrassing experiences watching your kids rip open gifts in front of a crowd, only to exclaim that they don’t like it or already have it, try role-playing ahead of time. Set up the scenario and practice what they should say when they open a gift. “I know it was difficult to find something in my favorite color. Thank you!”
One lost art is the handwritten thank you card. We rarely see them anymore, but it is a thoughtful way to show your appreciation. Providing your kids with cards or making it into an arts and crafts session and having them watch you do it models the action. It gives them a chance to reflect on what they received and how much they appreciate the thought even if the gift wasn’t exactly perfect.
Talk about what you are grateful for whenever you have the chance. Some families take time during the dinner meal to have each person say one thing they were grateful for that day. Or, another good time to share these feelings is at bath time or before bed. Studies show that helping your children develop gratitude will help them to develop and maintain stronger relationships throughout their life.