The term “stranger danger” has sadly come to the forefront of the news again as a 10-year old Colorado girl who was missing for 1 week, was recently found dead. Jessica was last seen leaving home for her short walk to school. Colorado police are now looking for a “predator at large” in the community.
We may never find out the complete story of what happened, or if Jessica had any chance to get away from this abductor. All we can do as parents is to talk to our kids about strangers and give them tips on how to handle a situation if a stranger approaches them.
1) Tell your children that abductions are statistically unlikely, but they always need to be prepared. We don’t want to instill fear, but they need to always be aware of their surroundings.
2) Give your children the permission to be impolite. We spend our lives trying to impart good manners, but if they feel threatened, they may need to kick, bite or scream to get out of the situation.
3) Reiterate common tips like don’t talk to strangers, always stay in a group, always tell your parents where you are going and who with, and go over scenarios about when it is appropriate to call 911 from their cell phone.
4) Make sure that all cell phones have emergency numbers programmed in them. These are numbers in addition to 911, like dad’s work number, grandma’s home phone, etc. that can be dialed if the child is feeling too nervous to remember the number.
5) Explain to them that responsible adults will never ask kids they don’t know for assistance. They should never go along with a stranger who does. Give them examples like “what if someone asks you to help them with something inside their house?” or “what if someone asks them to help them find their puppy?”
6) Explain to them that a stranger will never come up to the child to give them news that a parent is in danger and the child needs to come with them. This is a ploy they should be aware of.
7) Tell them to trust their instincts. If they are in a situation that is scary or makes them nervous, leave as quickly as possible and get to a public area.
8) If a stranger does try to grab you, yell as loud as you can and run away. Don’t just yell “help”, but yell “this is not my daddy!” or “this is not my mommy!” so people know that you aren’t just throwing a temper tantrum and will try to help.
9) Teach children whom to turn to if they feel in danger. Some examples include a security guard at a mall, a policeman in uniform, or a store clerk.
10) Don’t assume your teenager is old enough to know what to do. Reiterate the rules and scenarios with them as well.
Protecting our children is a huge part of parenting. For individuals interested in learning more parenting tips and skills, take online parenting classes from the convenience of your own Internet based computer at home. Classes are available from 4 – 16 hours in length depending on the depth you are looking for. Look for a high quality course that is designed by a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Classes include skills in how to successfully talk to your kids, stress management, rewards and discipline and about different stages of development. Completing a class will leave you feeling a stronger, more confident parent!