What does assertive communication mean?
Being assertive refers to the way that we express ourselves to others. Many individuals find it difficult to say no, so instead they say yes to keep the peace and not ruffle any feathers. Assertive communication is a learned pattern that allows us to break from this behavior to clearly convey our feelings in a non-aggressive, but also non-passive manner. This form of communication enables us to stand up for ourselves to explain our desires in a kind, honest and respectful way so that we don’t have to worry about insulting or hurting someone else’s feelings because of the way it came across.
It is important as a parent to learn assertiveness because it will improve your relationship with your children. Assertive communication enables you to clearly state what your needs or desires are so there is no confusion. This translates into a straightforward confidence and gives you a better chance of having your wants met. However, those who successfully practice this type of communication also understand that they may not always get what they want. Overall, people who utilize these skills are happier, have higher self-esteem and build stronger long-term relationships. They also feel less stressed because they feel empowered to get things done.
Essential Tips for Becoming Assertive
- Take deep breaths, speak calmly and make eye contact. If you feel too angry or emotional, wait until you’ve gained control.
- Use “I” statements to explain how you feel rather than the accusatory “you”. For example, “I feel like I am always cleaning this house on my own.” Instead of “This house is a mess and you just sit around watching TV!”
- Ask for exactly what you are looking for without any excuses, threats, or bad-mouthing others.
- Stay on the situation at hand. Don’t start bringing up a laundry list of items that have been bothering you for years.
- Take responsibility for your own feelings and propose a solution that you think will resolve the conflict.
- Practice saying “No I can’t add one more thing to my plate.” This replaces saying yes to everything and living life completely overwhelmed.
Like any new skill, it takes time and practice to solidify this behavior. Caregivers can learn how to attain these skills by taking a basic parenting class. Online parenting classes are the easiest way for busy moms and dads to gain the education necessary to embark on this new path. Classes can be accessed from any Internet connected computer like a PC, Laptop or Tablet and even from a Smartphone. Participants simply read through the class at their own convenience any time of the day or night. This alleviates any hassle of trying to cover childcare and enables parents to learn at their own pace. It’s an affordable and convenient way to learn.
As you develop your assertiveness with your kids, you will notice that it benefits every part of your life. You can utilize it to improve your workplace opportunities and create stronger relationships with friends and family as well!