The Power of Structure When Raising Children

Creating structure and routines for your children is crucial in creating a stable, happy home environment.   Every family has a different set of routines, but they are important because they help everyone know what they should be doing at designated times.  Children thrive in predictable environments where daily routines are established and they learn what is and is not appropriate. 

Giving children a set of routines enables them to have a sense of security in their daily life.  It gives them a sense of control in a world in which they are constantly being told what to do by adults.  It helps them to feel organized and safe and frees up their minds to take on new challenges and learn new things.  For example, if a child knows that every night he should brush his teeth before bed, this routine gives him the power to know he is helping to prevent cavities.  If a child is allowed to brush some nights, but not others, he doesn’t learn the importance or significance of the activity and can be left with an underlying nervous feeling that something isn't right.

Structure also teaches children self-control.  They are taught what is expected of them at a certain point in the day, and they learn that is the appropriate acceptable behavior.  For example, everyday we have breakfast, brush our teeth, get dressed and leave for school by 7:30 a.m.  We don’t watch television, read a book, or play legos before school because then we will be late.  A schedule ensures consistency and the child learns that if he follows it, he will arrive at school on time and ready for his day. 

Children who come from houses that are disorganized don’t learn the habits they need to succeed in life.  If there is no set time to do homework, it might get overlooked; if there is no place to put the laundry, it might end up not getting washed; if there is no set time to eat a meal, the child might end up grazing on junk food all day.  Creating an organized household teaches children when to get things done for a successful conclusion. This routine lessens the uncertainty and stress of daily life. 

The everyday steps that we teach our children at a young age can serve as building blocks for the rest of their lives.  If they come from an organized home in which there is a place for everything, then when they set-up their desks at school, they will have a reference to draw from.  If we establish that playtime is when we play and mealtime is when we eat and socialize with our family, then there will be less of a struggle to have them sit at the dinner table. 

Routines also help children handle transitions more easily.  When children are young, it is sometimes difficult to get them to move from the house to the park to the supermarket, and back home.  When we see toddlers having tantrums, it is sometimes an unexpected transition that has prompted it.  Parents find it is beneficial to give 5 minute warnings before moving on to the next activity, and then doing just that.  

Of course, it is also important that parents are flexible in certain situations.  If the child is feeling sick, then by all means, missing a meal is acceptable.  If the parents need to go out-of-town on business, then Grandma can change things up for a couple days without permanent damage.  For more information on parenting tools to raising a healthy, well-balanced child, an online parenting class provides many benefits.  They are conveniently taken from any internet based computer, are low-cost and provide hours of parenting education.